Are they going to hell
If I accept Christ then am I telling my unbelieving family that they are going to hell?
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no, you should just try to get them to come to church or if they don’t want to, than just try to share your story with them of how you came to Christ. Tell them God loves them and tell your family that He will always be there. If there is someone who isn’t a believer, just go to church one Sunday and try it out..just trust that God will do something amazing in your life.
This is a thought that I struggle with daily. I began my walk with Christ 6 years ago, after I’d been married for one year. My husband is now an agnostic, but he was an atheist. I would never tell him that he was going to hell because he doesn’t believe, that would drive him even further away. During this 6 years God has shown me that the best way for my husband to understand my faith is through my quiet obedience. This is quiet obedience to God and my husband. Yes, you heard me right obedience to my agnostic husband. I pray that my husband will see the light of God through my actions. I know in my heart that God did not bring us together just to rip us apart, so he will believe one day. But beating him over the head with my religion is no way to influence him.
I don’t believe it’s my place to say to anyone weather or not they are going to hell. isn’t salvation up to God? I”m just grateful that it happened to me.
I have a different approach than most. I encourage new believers to NOT tell anyone about their new faith except another trusted follower of Christ. Why? I’ll answer with another question: Do we expect our new born babies to act and look like adults? No way. When someone is “born again” we can easily expect them to act and look like a mature follower of Christ. If they don’t, we beat them up and laugh at their weak attempts. I encourage new children of God to wait until someone asks them about some new behavior or lack of an old behavior before sharing about their new faith in Christ. Let our peace, joy, kindness, be the reason someone notices a change in our lives. Then, let them know the reason for the changes. Leave going, or not going, to hell to the true judge.
I really like your approach Ron! We do have a duty to reproduce as christians, which Jesus tells us to do in “The Great Commission”(Matthew 28:19-20). However, its not as easy as just going out there and preaching the Gospel at everyone…I learned this the hard way. We have to begin by building relationships with the people God places in our lives and as those relationships develop over time we grow closer and that’s when they will begin to notice the changes in us and will start asking questions about it. We tend to rush through life on a mission to get from point A to point B, but I don’t believe God works that way. He is always kind, loving, and patient with us and we are expected to be that way towards others. That is the challenging part!
Before you make this decision (the decision to tell a non-believer they are going to “hell”)I would think you better be pretty certain of what “hell” actually is. And I’m not sure there is unaminous consent on this topic. It says (King James) in Acts that Jesus was not left in Hades and his flesh was not corrupted. When I stop and think about that it seems that Jesus was “dead” after being taken down from the cross and was “dead” for 3 days. So this is my question…is Hades or “hell” actually the grave or not? Depending on the translation, Hades and “hell” can be the same or not be the same. In other words, too big a debate for me - a mere mortal - to pass judgement on this or someone else. I’m too busy trying to make sure I don’t end up there myself. In this case, it’s every man (and woman) for themselves.
To me this question is an extension of the other question…what are we here for(our purpose, etc.)?
My answer to this one is quite simple…we are here because God has given us the opportunity to decide how we want to spend eternity…either with him or without him. But I’d leave “hell” out of it…maybe a better answer would be to spend eternity with the Democrats in power (oops)!
There is a passage of scripture that I think is really intriguing…Jesus is with his disciples and he asks them who people say that he is. After fielding a couple of responses he asks them a follow-up question: Who do YOU say that I am? Peter turns to Jesus and says, “You are the Christ the Son of the living God!” Jesus replies, “Blessed are you, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my father in Heaven.” (Matthew 16).
It sounds like I hear Jesus saying that the mysteries of knowing who God is and recognizing Jesus as the Savior aren’t things that we can cram into one’s head. God, in his sovereignty, somehow reveals himself to us.
Of course, this doesn’t let us “off the hook”…God often uses people to reveal himself to other people. This happens at times via our words, but more often our actions. But, we have got to allow God to take the lead!
There is a line in one of the songs on U2’s newest album that has been looping over and over in my mind. “Stop helping God across the street like a little old lady,” Bono croons. Our God is a BIG God - He can handle whatever it is that is weighing on us be it the faith of a loved one, the finances of our families, or a strained relation. We don’t need to lead him or tell him what to do! He’s got it under control, and he might just use us to accomplish his work if we are pay attention to where he is at work.
This is an area in which I struggle with my husband as well. He goes to church on all the special events but not a regular basis. My children & I attend every weekend (missing rarely). I so want him to be involved in that part of our lives but he doesn’t feel that it is necessary to attend regularly. As mentioned by Christy, I pray that God will use me to make a difference in his life. I have to admit that I often am angry at him for not going! In the past, we would just end up in a fight every weekend because I would ask & he would decline. Doesn’t he see the importance for our children & family?
Any suggestions?
Hi SMM, As Men’s pastor, I hear from many wives, children and friends about their concern over their loved one’s lack of church attendance. Let me start by making sure we have a working definition of what the “church” is and what it is not. IMO the Church, capital C, is the world wide body of people who have a personal relationship w/ God through Jesus and his work on the cross. The church, lower case c, is the organized or institutionalized form of the Church which is usually expressed by a number of Christians who become members of a denomination and then into solitary congregations that usually have a building, staff, elders, etc. Confused yet? What I’m trying to get at is that if your husband is a follower of Christ and a member of his family, then he is a member of the Church. He may not attend the church but church attendance is not a requirement for being a child of God. Church isn’t something you “go” to. It’s something you “be”. Many men feel the way your husband does in part b/c some churches don’t really have anything to offer him that affirms his manhood. Men like risk, challenge, competition, adventure, conflict, purposeful activity that makes a difference in the lives of others. Sadly, these elements are not easily embraced by many churches. Ask your husband what he doesn’t like about church. Embrace his being a member of the one true Church, the family of God. I would encourage him to continue taking part in the things he likes about church. And lastly I would encourage you to not get angry over his lack of participation. You or your husband can contact me if you’d like to discuss this any further. I’m praying for you and your husband.
Ron,
Thank you for your words of wisdom! He is a believer & he actually has told me the same thing that you stated. One doesn’t have to go to church to be a believer. He always enjoys coming to Hope. In fact, he is attending the Bodacious Breakfast this weekend with my father-in-law who is also a member here. I would just like for us to attend every weekend as a family but I cannot force him. It only causes more conflict! Thank you again for your guidance and prayer.
Smm, Keep on attending if you enjoy it. Your husband is a beliver and member of the Church so encourage him to share his faith w/ the kids. We have strived to make a man feel welcome here at Hope. I purposely try to steer clear of the things that can creep a man out at church. No hand holding, hugging, “sharing your heart”, guilt driven lessons that can drive men away from the church. If he comes to Dan Reeves he’ll feel comfortable and wont be asked to sing,act religious, or show his feminine side. I hope he’ll begin to see that God created him a man and expects him to act that way. However, what I find is that most men don’t have a good definition of what it means to be a man. We address that topic, and other manly ones, in Men’s Fraternity. We begin a new class this Fall so begin praying he’ll check it out. Love your husband. Pray for him. Support him. Live your life as a follower of Christ and trust God to move in your husbands life at His timing. God be w/ YOu!